We moved our oldest into college yesterday.
She’s not very far away, but things have changed. I think our family collectively feels “Ok, we did it – she’s there…so what’s this really gonna be like?”
How often will we see her?
How successful will she be with her college courses?
What is our relationship with this adult version of our sister/daughter gonna be like?
What will our new normal be this time?
Children in a divorced family experience lots of transitions (which may equip them to deal with change better than others) – for us:
– one parent ripped the family apart, moved them to a different town & changed their school – ouch!
– they moved again & came back to their old school
– mom had boyfriends
– dad got married
– mom moved in with boyfriend & his child
– custody changed
– mom got married
– now, one in college
In that long list of transitions, the last one is the only one where no one is mad or the dynamics of the adults who control their lives aren’t changing.
This is our daughter’s first life changing transition that she chose & she has control over. I don’t think she has thought of that yet ….
I had an unhappy home for very different reasons, and when I went to college freedom & academic heaven (total nerd? Yes!) were very tangible to me – I couldn’t wait to be on my own!
I hope the positive freedom becomes real for her and she is able to embrace it and do great things.
This transition has immeasurable positive potential, and no one’s baggage is standing in her way!