As my step-daughters get older, I watch them selectively tell their father and I facts and the truth. If it’s a full lie and we know it, yes, we punish them. But, more often than not its just skirting the details or playing dumb. They are giving us a version of the truth of who they are, what they think, and how they feel.
What do we do? What can we do?
We try to have calm, openconversations with them and don’t demand that they agree with us on every detail. We ask their opinion on the trivial to the important. We never lie to them or lie in general – ever.
Their mother is a believer in versions of the truth. She tells whoever is in front of her what they want to hear. She has told the girls to do one thing and keep it from their father more than once. She thinks she can teach them to lie to their fatherselectively, but expects them to always be honest with her. They know she lies to them and others about all sorts of things. She is a person who tells so many different versions of the truth to so many people, I often wonder if she even is conscience of the truth of the matter at any given time!
So, as the girls get older and start to lie to her about more significant things, I wonder will she realize the value of truth?