The worst thing about divorce when there are children involved is both parents loose control over how their children are reared. Typically, people do not get divorced while maintaining exactly the same morals and values; people get divorced (usually) because they fundamentally disagree about issues that are crucially important to them. The difference between being married and having these differences vs. being divorced and having these differences, is when you are married, you have to tough it out together (at worst) BUT when you are divorced you have the space to dig your heels and not give an inch. So what happens to the kids? They are caught in the middle – wow what a fun place to be. But more specifically related to this blog, both parents end up out of control. At every turn, some one is sitting on the sidelines watching their children (who they hopefully love more than anything) be influenced by their ex-spouses decisions. Nothing hurts more than being an disenfranchised parent.
The U.S. Constitution has been interpreted to protect the right of one to rear ones child as you see fit: Pierce v. Society of Sisters, 268 U.S. 510, 535 (1925), Meyer v. Nebraska, supra.’. Yet, we also have been said to have the right to marry and divorce. Unfortunately, when children are being reared in a divorce situation these rights do not truly exist. Both parents are constantly having to deal with the choices of the other. So, what do we do?
I do not know. I believe it is important to acknowledge this fact. I believe there are many divorce situations where both parents are consistently detrimental to the children. I also believe there are many situations where it is clear that it would be best for the children to be reared by one parent and have little to no contact with the other and that our current court system standard for the Best Interest of the Child has the bar set WAY too low. I also know that it SUCKS to be the better parent, and yet have less control.